-By
Nikko
One day in a lowly bustling city known as Albuquerque, a man about twenty-four in age began to seriously question his live. Plugging and pecking away at his keys day after day he found many things of interest to him. He found animals of great grace and astounding beauty. He found people trying to be these animals and in time he found a piece of him self. For some time this man was wrapped up in the furry fandom and really enjoyed his life as a furry. Reading many articles he hoped one day that he could possibly become the animal he so adored. He wanted to be a wolf. Their incredible agility and poise always caught his attention. He often imitated them when no one was looking and even went about his evenings howling. In time he begin to even be nicknamed by his friends Canis Ken. He never seemed to mind.
Days and nights went by one after another and the more they went the more he wanted to be a wolf. He wanted to be as close to them as possible. Inspired by his passion for the wild beast he planed a trip. He had holiday pay coming from work and he was going to make it count. “What could be better then a weekend in Canada”, he told his friends. They didn’t seem to agree with him but no one was going to question it. So packing his bags and readying for adventure he leaves the warm weather of the southwestern United States. This is his story.
~ A trip to never forget
May 12 – 2005
I was able to leave my friends and job behind for an entire two weeks. It’s about time. I am rather tired of the rigors of workday in and day out and even though I do love my job I have longed for this trip ever since I knew I had the time coming. This is so exciting! I brought with me many things as follows.
I do hope that will be plenty of gear. I just can’t wait to get off this plain. It is so uncomfortable. It is fine though soon enough I will be in Montreal and on my way. Holy crap and I excited. Well that is all for now. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
May 13 – 2005
This has been a hell-of-a day. My hotel room here in Montreal is nice but I am anxious to get on my plan to be dropped off in the wilds. I hooked up with a couple of furry pals I met on IRC a few months ago. Wow was that fun. We had a good time in the bar as soon as I landed and we went to a small party afterwards at Ralph’s house. He has the most kick ass fur suite I have seen in some time too. It was a red fox. He must have put at least about four months worth of work into it. There were a couple others there too. Tewivo was there. He has the thickest Canadian accent I think I have ever heard. I wonder why god gives different people such odd sounding accents. After the party I crashed there and we had breakfast. It was good. We had some Canadian bacon with fried trout hash browns. I was awaken by Ralph scrithing me in his fur suite. That wasn’t expected but what do I care… I did love it. After breakfast and all that went with it we all went our ways. It was kinda sad because I really did have a great time with um all. That is ok; I have a solid two weeks in the woods. Now that is something to really look forward to as cool as this lil party was. Now I just have to contact my pilot and finish my arrangements for my drop off. Checking my bags it seems I also have all I will need for this trip. Good thing too late to get anything after I leave town. My first time here I must say that Montreal is very nice. No time to go into town though.
May 13 – 2005 Evening
Ok secured my plane and now I just gotta go. Just got done loading it with my gear for the weekend. Were going to land on a lake just north east of Montreal. The Manicouagan Reservoir has a nice little inlet to a few smaller lakes that I will check out. OW craps… were about to leave. I had better put this away and strap in. Until my next entry bye.
May 13 –2005 Late Evening
Plane just touched down about an hour ago and we got all of my gear off it. It went according to plan and this is a great spot. It is so late though I don’t have much time to set up camp. I am solo now. There is nothing near me for many miles. Finally I get to enjoy this trip for once. I am also a bit famished. Looks like a late night. Good thing I left my lantern out. I will need that right about now… These misquotes are terrible too. I need to get a fire started so that the smoke will get them off my back. Ok this is unbearable I need to get to work now.
May 14 –2005 Noon
Well I did manage to get all of my stuff in order and camp put up right before complete darkness however it was not easy and I sure did pay for that. I managed to successfully get bitten on almost every piece of flesh I have. Ow God do these mosquitoes suck. I sure wasn’t expecting them to be that bad. It was a relief when I got my fire up though. They don’t like the smoke. Now today unless I want to eat MREs all day I had better get my self some fishing done. I am rather looking forward to this too. I think I will do ok for my self. What to do right now is the real question. Now that camp is up I have in essence done all I needed to do and from this point on it is all vacation. … Humm… I wonder if I will be able to find a wolf if I am lucky. I think that is what I will do. Anyways, writing in this journal is fun and all and I wanna remember this like it was just yesterday in the future but, I am not getting anything else done so it is time to leave this behind. Now I only wish I brought a boat. Ow well!
May 15- 2005 Bedtime
Well I did great for my self. I caught three 14in rainbow trout. That is fantastic! They sure tasted great too. It was unfortunate I forgot to bring flower and a pan… I guess it was time for me to learn some real woods survival tricks. I managed to make a spit from a good piece of green sapling. That worked rather well. I am beginning to wonder though if this was a good idea to be out here solo. I mean I love it and all but I am such a city slicker. I wish I was a wolf. If I was a wolf I wouldn’t have to think about these things. I would already know all that I would need to know. I would have powerful paws to rip the flesh of the game I chased down with my long powerful legs. I would be able to do so much. Err what the hell am I saying. I can’t ever do that and I never will get to. Still… I did manage to find some paw prints that I believe are of a wolf. Time to earn my nickname tomorrow. Ok I am really tired. I had better rest now.
May 16 – 2005 Late Evening.
It has been a rather busy day. I have managed to find the wolf’s trail and even droppings. I think I will take the opportunity to film him tomorrow. He won’t be too far off. I might not know a lot about the woods but that shit still stank so it has to be fresh and so I figure he is close. Hehe… My friends are never going to believe this.
The rest of the day was just some more fishing. I had a bear show up in the early morning and wreck house on my campfire and fish that I had foolishly left aside. I can’t believe I did that! I am such an idiot. Ow well. I will know better next time. I guess my old worries are no issue any more though. I seem to be doing ok here in the wilds of Canada. This place is so splendid. The trees are so big and smell good too. I enjoy the nice gentle breeze that is always here too. It is so calming.
I have learned how to strike a fire too. That was impressive for lil ol’ me. I couldn’t use the matches because they got wet. Good thing too or I would be in some trouble from the misquotes.
Well I have to secure my food in the tree and then add some timber to my fire. After that I think I will just do some reading before I rest. Yah. That sounds good to me. Umm… ok yah not much else to do. I guess I will return to this here journal tomorrow.
May 17 – 2005 Noon
HOLY SHIT I SAW IT!!! I saw the wolf and now I have a picture. I have a few actually. Wow was that a stunning animal. This trip is suddenly all worth it. I think I would pay almost twice as much if I knew I was going to get the pic I got. WOW…. I am just elated after that.
I got to get some more stuff done though. I have my pictures but I haven’t eaten anything yet. I am rather hungry. I will eat. Still though wow…
May 18 – 2005 Evening
Haven’t been able to get to this journal for a while. I saw the wolf again and this time I got a few more pics. I also managed to see another totally different wolf. Looks like there is a small pack around here somewhere. It was odd though because they were not behaving like they do on T.V. I found that rather peculiar. I am still happy once again to have another pic. The coffee I have cooked is rather good too. Don’t know where that came from but it is good.
Last night that bear came back to try to get a meal. He failed this time. I didn’t leave my fish guts and stuff just sitting around. The fishing is plenty good so I don’t need to. I don’t know why I brought my bow though. I am not going to need it nor have I hunted any while here. The fish is plenty. Still have all my MRE’s but I don’t need them and I would prefer not to eat them anyway. They’re not that great. Well time to go for now.
May 19 – 2005 Evening. Ok this is freaking me out. There is definitely something wrong with the wolfs. They are not behaving at all like they should. It is like there possessed or something. It is so crazy. They seen me and began to howl. I wasn’t expecting that warm of a welcome but then when I approached closer they growled and I could swear that I seen someone in the woods behind a large pine. I would have investigated but there was no way I was going to press my luck with the wolfs. I don’t know what is going on but I hope to be gone before I find out.
May 20 – 2005 Night
I have a huge burse on my shoulder and the back of my head hurts really badly. I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember my day and I am really freaking out because I just shaved and I need to shave again. It has only been an hour. I woke up and I had paint or something like that across my arms and forehead. I also had a pelt under me. It was a wolf pelt. Who would kill this animal? I also had blood all over me. Yet I didn’t have any cuts, with the exception of a small almost surgical cut across my chest but it couldn’t be the source of this much blood. This is so wrong. I need to get out of here but no one will come for at least 7 more days. I don’t wanna use the beacon just because I am freaked out but then again I can’t explain this shit. I am terrified! I need to sleep but I can’t at all. I tried a bit earlier but was restless. So now I am just writing this. I am hoping to get this all together but it isn’t happening for me. This is insane.
May 22 –2005 Morning
WHAT AM I BECOMING? I have canine teeth and my arms are changing. I have fur all over now and I have paw pads. This can’t be happening. I seem to be growing a muzzle too. I am so much stronger then I was yesterday too. I found this out when I was getting wood for my fire. I was also singing a song to my self and my voice is changing. I – I don’t know what is going on. I am beginning to be less afraid and more excited. It is like I am almost becoming a wolf or something. …. This pen isn’t very easy to grip anymore either. ERR…. This is pissing me off but… if I am becoming a wolfman how great will that be. Ow man… I can’t go back home if I do though. I will be completely disowned and problem dissected or something. I can’t imagine what they will do to me. I don’t want to leave my friends behind! Maybe this is just a dream. Maybe when I wake up this will all go away?
May 22 – 2005 Evening
This isn’t a dream. I am even furrier then before. I even have a full muzzle now and my shoes were killing me so I took um off. I discovered that I had to cut them off because my feet swelled and weren’t even feet. I have paws now. This is nuts. It is dreams come true and yet it is also a nightmare. I don’t know what is all going on. I don’t know if I hate this or love this. I don’t know much at the moment. I am wondering if I am still suffering from the hit on the head but I couldn’t be. That was so long ago now and-and … Ow man… This is happening. I am becoming a wolf. Now what happens when they come back to pick me up. This is no good. I am going to have to retreat to the woods and make it look like the bear got me or they will search the woods for days for me. I can’t have that but I can’t go back. Owww…. If only this were simpler.
May 23 – 2005 Noon
I will not be able to stage my death in any convincing manor. I will have to hide. It is like this transformation is almost completed. I have never been able to smell, jump, run, or see like this before. This is so crazy. All my senses are way keen. I don’t think this will be too hard to stay hidden. I have a beautiful coat of fur too. Wow… this is something else! I wonder who did this to me though. I think I am going to find out soon. I need to. I wonder if there are any others like me in the woods here or if there is something in the water or whatever it might be! I am going to have to look for that figure I seen though. I think that will be the start of this all.
May 26 – 2005 Evening
I have spent three days looking for this figure. I found the wolfs again but this time they came right up to me. I guess I smell like them now. I was able to nuzzle up with my new muzzle. They seemed to enjoy that. We even played around. I know think I know what it is like to be a wolf. I found my self howling uncontrollably too. I think the figure came closer when I did that. I could smell him. It was different then the wolfs. I am tired and hungry. Hell with fish I am going to get a deer.
May 27 – 2005 Noon
I found my deer… I managed to claw it down and trip it. Cooking is such a waist of time now. I never knew how good raw meat was. Tomorrow my ride shows up to take me back. I don’t think I am going to go. I don’t think I care about my old life anymore. Now that I think about it, I don’t care at all about it. What was there anyway except superficial people and a host of problems? I don’t have to work. I don’t have to pay just to eat food. I don’t have to deal with people getting on my case because I am not who they want me to be. Ow good ol’ quiet KEN!!! Never causes any trouble!!!! OW he will gladly do this or that. OW he is happy to help you!!!!…. Err I am threw with it all. The woods are my home now. I will simply leave the pilot this journal. Maybe they will understand. Maybe they won’t. I have never been as happy as I am right now. I am not going to trade this for what was called a life before. I am going to go and live my life with what I enjoy the most. I am going to be free from all that trash and shit people subject them selves to.
May 28 – 2005 Evening
The figure approached me today. She is gorgeous. Thick red fur, and a smile that I could swear was the teasing of a fey. She spoke a different language then I did but I understood everything she said when we just barked back and forth. That was an experience. She took me by the hand and showed me her home. It was a small gave covered by the roots of a very old jack pine. She is such a wonderful…. Um…. Person? Umm… what are we? I guess wolf but not really because we aren’t on all fours. Anyways! She was great. We had a great conversation about life and the forest and what she did to me. She said that she heard my dreams at night. She said my spirit was ready to be transformed into its rightful state. It was a lot to take in. It somehow felt just right however. Like it was kismet. I don’t care I am staying regardless. I haven’t changed anymore today so I don’t think I will anymore. Don’t really matter the only difference between me and a wolf now is the fact I stand on two feet and am intelligent I wouldn’t say wolfs aren’t intelligent however. I had a good conversation with one the other day. I guess people don’t understand though. I guess they can’t really understand something that abstract. It is hard for me to even swallow it all.
This is it. This is the end of this journal. You who are picking it up! Sorry I forgot your name. You can have the gear. I don’t think I will be needing any of it. I am only keeping a few small pictures I have of some friends. Everything else is yours. I can’t tell you anything more then is written in here. I am figuring it all out my self. I don’t want to go back. I can’t you understand don’t you? It is just a dream come true for me. I have always wanted this and now I am everything I have wanted to be. Please don’t come back and disturb us. I left my wallet on the tree stub I was using for a splitting stand for my ax. It has about $500 in it. Keep it! You’ll need it more then I ever will. Anyways… I guess this is all I am going to say now. I have better things to do the write these damn entries. I don’t need to remember the trip I will live every day now. Hey just do me a favor. Follow your dreams or you won’t be happy. Yah I don’t know you that well but, I think I have figured that out this vacation. Well be safe and I hope your flight back is well. My new friend is waiting for me. I should leave it at this. Bye
-Ken Hakala
P.S. The camera has some great shots in it.
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